Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

Explore what Imposter Syndrome is, what causes it, and strategies you can use to overcome it.

There are a range of perspectives about imposter syndrome including research and theories about the characteristics, symptoms, causes and strategies to manage behaviors and thoughts.

  1. Explore what Imposter Syndrome is, what causes it, and strategies you can use to overcome it.
    1. Today we will:
    2. So who is this for:
    3. What is Imposter syndrome?
    4. Just because you doubt your abilities doesn’t mean that you’re suffering from impostor syndrome.
      1. Imposter cycle
    5. Let’s try an exercise and Imagine yourself in this situation……
      1. Let’s Reflect
    6. Types of imposter syndrome:
    7. Who experiences imposter syndrome?
  2. Reflect
    1. How do you know if you have it?
    2. Causes and symptoms of imposter syndrome.

Today we will:

  • Explore what imposter syndrome is
  • How to overcome it
  • Learn how to tackle feelings of inadequacy
  • Identify and address negative thought and behavior patterns
  • How to develop your own leadership style
  • Learn how to communicate change and transformation
  • Know and understand effective leadership skills
  • Demonstrate good judgment
  • Learn to act on critical reflection of effective practice and integrity
  • Learn how to transition to leadership

So who is this for:

  • This is for anyone who is a leader or wants to lead.
  • Anyone who is transitioning from a corporate job to business owner
  • Someone who is trying to establish an authority role or figure
  • Anyone that has anxiety or feels pressured when making decisions

When transitioning from any position into another one of authority, it’s normal to feel these types of inadequacy, and there’s nothing wrong with admitting that you feel out of your element. For most of us it just takes a little time and practice in our new roles before this feeling will go away. All you’re really experiencing is inexperience and unfamiliarity and that reduces your confidence in becoming the leader you and I both know you can be. By answering the poll below you will be contributing to a larger part of the research done on imposter syndrome if you’d like to participate your feedback is important.

What is Imposter syndrome?

Imposter syndrome is also called Imposter Phenomenon, or Fraud Syndrome and is a term to describe the psychological experience of feelings like you don’t deserve your success. It’s just “an internal experience of intellectual phoniness”. If you say things like “I got lucky” or “I don’t belong here” or even “I’m a fraud, and it’s just a matter of time before they find out” You may be experiencing Imposter Syndrome. Most of us have experienced feelings of doubt and unworthiness at some point in our professional and personal lives. Although it can affect anyone, research has shown high-achieving individuals experience it often. Research has also shown that less than half of men thought that imposter syndrome affected their personal lives, whereas more than 73 percent of women thought it did.

First introduced in 1978 in an article written by Pauline R. Clance and Suzanne A. Imes, they described the phenomenon as: “an internal experience of intellectual phoniness

At the time, their research focused on women in higher education and professional industries. This syndrome is essentially our subconscious way of saying to yourself and others that “I am not enough” or “I am unworthy”. You feel you are undeserving of awards, accolades, and recognition you’ve received. Along with these feelings, you may carry guilt that you are deceiving others into thinking you are more competent than you believe yourself to be and fear that someone will eventually find you out and expose you. These moments of doubt pose a barrier for individuals to achieve their full potential.

Maybe you can you relate to some or all of these common imposter beliefs and behaviours: Make a note of the ones that resonate with you. We will explore ways in which you can overcome imposter syndrome.

  • feeling like you’re a fraud and that it’s only a matter of time before you’re ‘found out’
  • feeling you’re not ready, worthy or in some way ‘good enough’
  • suffering from unhealthy levels of self-doubt, self-criticism or self-judgement
  • feeling exhausted by any/all of the Deadly P’s: Perfecting, Pleasing, Proving, Performing, Pretending and Procrastinating
  • undervaluing your talents and downplaying or belittling your accomplishments
  • holding back in meetings, not expressing your opinions or sharing your knowledge
  • passing up opportunities and staying ‘safe’ in roles for which you are over-qualified or have outgrown
  • being haunted by subtle feelings that you don’t belong in your role, your team or your organisation

Just because you doubt your abilities doesn’t mean that you’re suffering from impostor syndrome.

Sometimes, you really will be out of your depth! In these instances, it’s important to be honest and seek help from your manager or others.

Next we will explore the cycle of imposter syndrome and how we can get caught up in a dangerous loop of self-talk and thinking.

Imposter cycle

The imposter cycle describes a pattern of behaviour commonly experienced by individuals, especially those who move into new roles or commitments. Proposed by Pauline Clance in 1985 the model provides a visual representation of the thought processes and feelings at particular points when an individual is provided with an achievement-related task. You begin to have feelings of uncertainty and self-doubt, and that you have tricked your organisation to employ you. Each time you are given a new task, the struggle is internal, and you feel that no matter how hard you work, you end up in the same spot.

Let’s breakdown each step of the cycle, using the workplace as an example. Although, you can get caught in the cycle in any situation in your professional or personal life. Just a brief exercise to see where you stand on things…

Let’s try an exercise and Imagine yourself in this situation……

I want you to imagine your supervisor has come to you with a task they would like you to complete by the end of the month. It’s a report on the latest costings for a new product that is being developed. As the task and expectations are explained to you, your mind starts to kick in with anxiety, self-doubt and worry. “I’ve never done this before”, “Why are they asking me to do it?”… all the while you are outwardly displaying confidence. You supervisor then leaves you to it, and inside you are starting to experience heightened levels of anxiousness. At this point of the cycle, you might either procrastinate or over-prepare to the point of stress.

Imposter Syndrome is feeling like you’re always wearing a mask.

Once you have completed the task, meeting set deadlines and expectations, you experience a feeling of relief and your supervisor provides you with positive feedback on the results. You discount the feedback and attribute it to high effort (over-preparation) or just luck (with procrastination).
This then leads to sustained feelings of perceived fraudulence, self-doubt, depression or anxiety. “Phew, I can’t believe they liked the report”. “I got away with that one”. “I got lucky that time”. There is a spike in these feelings of fraud.

The cycle continues to loop over and over, and you may find yourself feeling trapped. Essentially, any challenge will cause someone with imposter syndrome to freak out, setting off the cycle of worry and self-doubt. To cope, they fall into either a pattern of procrastination or perfectionism or toggle between the two.

Perfectionism and imposter syndrome often feed off each other. In the workplace, it can manifest itself as over-working or over-preparing in a constant effort to achieve the unachievable goals set. When the individual fails to reach the goals, feelings of self-doubt and worry rise within themselves. Self-talk continues to be “I knew I wasn’t capable of doing it.” “I don’t have the skills or qualifications to take on this task”. “I don’t know why they gave that task to me”. A self-fulfilling prophecy.

Let’s Reflect

How did you feel when you were given a task that you believed should be given to someone else?

How did you approach the task?

What was the outcome?

Which camp did you fall into? Perfectionist or procrastination – or juggle between the two?

Did you feel as if you weren’t suitably qualified for the job or have the skills to do it?

It’s important to note, continuing to be caught in the cycle can affect the following:

  • work performance
  • taking on responsibilities (either at work or in your personal life)
  • self-doubt
  • attributing success to outside factors
  • avoiding seeking promotion
  • job dissatisfaction and burnout

Types of imposter syndrome:

Perfectionist: Set excessively high goals for themselves, and when they fail, they experience self-doubt and worry about measuring up. This group can also be “control freaks” which may not sit well with some, however, perfectionists feel like if they want something done right, they have to do it themselves.

Ask yourself:

  • Have you been accused of being a micromanager?
  • Do you have difficulty delegating?
  • Even when able to do so, do you feel frustrated by the results?
  • When you miss something, do you accuse yourself or think that you are “not cut out” for your job/role and go over and over it in your head for days?

The Expert: measure their competence based on “what” and “how much” they know how to do something. They believe they will never know enough and fear being exposed as inexperienced or unknowledgeable. It’s true, there’s always more to learn, however this can be taken too far.

Ask yourself:

  • Do you shy away from applying for jobs unless you meet every single requirement?
  • Are you constantly looking to do courses or certifications because you think you need these to improve your skills to succeed?
  • Even though you’ve been in your role for a long time, do you still feel as though you don’t know “enough”?
  • Do you feel embarrassed when someone calls you an “expert”?

The Soloist: asking for help reveals their phoniness. It is ok to be independent, but not to the extent that you refuse assistance just to prove your worth. There is no shame in asking for help.

Ask yourself:

  • Do you firmly believe that you need to accomplish things on your own?
  • “I don’t need anyone’s help.” Does that sound like you?
  • Do you frame requests in terms of the project rather than your need?

Natural Genius: judge their competence based on ease and speed rather than their efforts. If they take a long time to master something, they feel shame. Set their internal bar impossibly high (similar to perfectionists). They judge themselves on being able to achieve something the first time. They should see themselves as a work in progress.

Ask yourself:

  • Are you used to excelling without much effort?
  • Do you have a track record of straight ‘As’ or gold stars in everything you do?
  • When you’re faced with a setback, does your confidence tumble?
  • Do you often avoid challenges?

The Superperson: convinced they’re phonies amongst real-deal colleagues and often push themselves to work harder and harder. This is considered a false cover-up for their insecurities and the work overload may harm not only mental health, but relationships with others.

Ask yourself:

  • Do you stay later at the office than the rest of your team?
  • Do you get stressed when you’re not working and find downtime completely wasteful?
  • Have you left hobbies and passions – sacrificed to work?

The core reason that people experience imposter syndrome is really due to our unrealistic, unstainable notions about what it means to be competent. Reflect on the ones that resonate the most to you and don’t forget to leave us a comment and your experience with imposter syndrome.

Who experiences imposter syndrome?

The short answer is everyone. Even all the famous and well known leaders have confessed to feelings of self-doubt, fear and inadequacy.

Albert Einstein, Penelope Cruz, Agatha Christie, Michelle Obama

Have you felt these emotions as a leader? If so, you are in good company!

Consider and write down your thoughts on the following questions.

  • Would you have thought these people would have experienced insecurities or felt like they didn’t deserve their success?
  • Why do you think high achievers are more likely to suffer from imposter syndrome?
  • What would you say to someone who you admired who confessed that they felt like a fraud?

Leadership theory could exhaust a lifetime of study. It is more important to consider the impact of imposter syndrome on leadership styles and vice versa.

For those in a leadership position or aspiring to be a leader, at some point you will come up against a situation and think “I don’t know what to do”. It may be a team issue that you can’t seem to solve, or maybe you need to lead a project which lies outside of your field of expertise. Whilst imposter syndrome feels uncomfortable and unpleasant, it’s not the real problem. The problem occurs when feelings of self-doubt and insecurity causes you to stop trying, to back off or to quit.

As a leader, when you stop believing in yourself, start second guessing your decisions, stay quiet or take a back seat it can potentially limit your leadership pipeline or produce an underperforming team.

When leaders appreciate the strengths and weaknesses of a practiced leadership style, they develop greater awareness of their abilities, values and beliefs, as well as greater understanding of how they are perceived by team members. The understanding and practice of a leadership style creates a personal leadership framework that can be further developed, extended and refined through everyday workplace leadership experiences.

Leaders also need to consider how compatible their fundamental leadership style is with their organisation. If the styles are clearly incompatible (e.g. a servant leader in an autocratic, command-and-control, hierarchical organisation) effective leadership will be difficult. Therefore, the same leader may be very welcome and successful in one organisation, and struggle and possibly fail in another.

Reflect

If you are currently in a leadership position (paid or voluntary), reflect on your current self-talk and self-belief. Take a step back from those you are leading, try and observe how the team is functioning. What impact are your thoughts, feelings, beliefs having on their performance, as a team and individually? What is the impact on you as a leader?

If you are not in a leadership position (paid or voluntary), is there an opportunity for you to undertake this type of role? What might be stopping you from seeking this opportunity? What is your current self-talk or belief?

How do you know if you have it?

You may have already recognised some elements of the syndrome in yourself as you explored the videos and content. It’s not simply the feeling of insecurity and self-doubt which most of us have felt at some point in our lives, but is a pattern of an inability to internalise success. As you’ve already discovered, it isn’t uncommon and 70% of people have experienced it at some time or other.

So, how do you know if you are experiencing imposter syndrome? You have already spent sometime asking yourself questions, particularly related to type, however, this section provides you with a number of resources to access which will provide further insight and guidance for you.

  • do you attribute your success to luck or external factors?
  • are you sensitive to criticism of any kind?
  • do you apologise over even the smallest mistake?
  • do you downplay your expertise even when you are truly the expert?
  • do you feel like someone is watching you and will call you out as a phony?

You need to become comfortable confronting some of the deeply ingrained beliefs you hold about yourself. This can be hard, because you may not even realise you hold them. Overcoming imposter syndrome requires self-acceptance; you don’t have to attain perfection to be worthy of the success you’ve achieved and any accolades you earn along the way. It’s not about lowering the bar, it’s about resetting it to a realistic level that doesn’t leave you forever overreaching and feeling inadequate.

Think of a time when you may have had some of the feelings associated with imposter syndrome. Consider and write down some thoughts in response to the following questions:

  • What were the thoughts associated with the feelings?
  • Are these thoughts valid? What is the evidence?
  • What would an alternative thought be?

Causes and symptoms of imposter syndrome.

We know that certain factors can contribute to the more general experience of imposter syndrome.

Across the board, it’s more common when trying something new or feeling the pressure to succeed. Those who suffer from imposter syndrome often have similar personality traits, including an external locus of control. This means they believe their accomplishments to be attributed to external factors such as luck or timing rather than the hard work they put in or their expertise. At work, people often experience acute imposter syndrome when given praise or reward.

Generally though, the emotions associated with the syndrome are internalised within the individual, rather than shared with others.

Early family dynamics – pressuring you to do well in school, praising you only when you do something good, comparing you to siblings or other children, overemphasizing your natural talents and shaming you when you struggle, or being over protective (helicopter parents) and instilling fear.

School and work experiences – Past stories of success and failure can affect how you see yourself and how you feel about taking on new projects and assignments.

Cultural pressures – We live in a culture of “-est”. That is we admire the biggest, prettiest, richest, fastest etc. We learn to measure success and ultimately worth through external factors including dollars, awards, number of likes on social media. In this environment it’s easy to judge ourselves.

Engaging in something new – we can be creatures of habit and comfort and it can be challenging when you start something new. Imposter syndrome can show up when you’re trying something you’ve never done before.

Write down and share your ideas about the following aspects:

“What core beliefs do I hold about myself?”

“Do I believe I am worthy enough?”

“Must I be perfect for others to approve of me?”

Reflect on the following:

Do elements or all of the characteristics of imposter syndrome sound familiar to you?
Are you surprised about some of the information presented?

Core Values

So what are core values and why are they so important?

Core values are what you believe, and they represent a person’s highest priorities. They are traits or qualities within all of us that make us unique. Some examples of pretty common core values are:

  • Respect
  • Integrity
  • Honor
  • Loyalty
  • Responsibility
  • Courage
  • Honesty
  • Love
  • Dignity

You can set a good example just by having the most important core values and actually living by those values. It allows you and others a smoother friendship as well as helps you feel like a good person. Having core values is especially important when you have kids. As parents we want better for our kids and teaching them the fundamental core values and meaning of those values will only benefit both parent and child. There are different kinds of values, such as;

Personal Values – Behavioral and Traits:

Personal Values – Rights and Causes

Life Values – Core Values

As a race, we are beginning to ask questions, more powerful and incisive questions about who we are and why are we here. These questions are both taking us down a dark rabbit hole of uncertainty and fear – as well as helping us ascend into the light.
It’s a time of deep introspection and exploration into the very nature of who we are as individuals and as a race. How we choose to represent ourselves in this life and in the universe, as well as an investigation into exactly how deep the rabbit hole goes in societal terms. What has brought us to this point of the abyss or ascension?

The problem for each and everyone of us is a simple question, that will determine the future of the human race. The most important question of our lives, and it’s only now
that we get to ask it of ourselves in earnest… Can we accept that we can be more than we are? This is a difficult personal question for all of us to answer, as by association this means we’ve been less than we could have been — and thus we are less than we can be.
Egotistically, this is very difficult to accept for most people in an actionable way, as illusory superiority twists our perspective reality away from our potential.

So set in our ways of personal limitation and identity are we, that we deny to ourselves our birthright of what the true nature of freedom is. The freedom to explore ourselves and the
experience of life, beyond what we’ve been conditioned to or suppressed by. Unfortunately, society psychologically lobotomizes people (including you and me) so they conform to its structures of certainty and behaviour to serve its energetic agenda.

It does this to us from around the age of five in many ways that become part of our identities, so we lose exactly who we really are and forget our potential in terms
of our capacity to live in a state of joy, peace, curiosity, love and wonderment.

Consequently, we fall asleep, and in that slumber we are reluctant to wake as our minds languish in a state of unconscious conformity to a world that makes no sense,
but asks us to live in non-sense and inversion. For some, they thank their lucky stars for their mental prisons, that allow them to navigate a world with pain and suffering inside and outside, so long as they don’t see it in front of them — as it makes them uncomfortable — it reminds them on a very deep level of what they’ve traded in for the addiction to having and not being.

Meaning, Purpose and Destiny

In this limited way, they can move within an inauthentic social identity avatar that is primarily restrictive and self-serving, unconsciously creating their projected reality through the words and thoughts of their daily lives. Thus the mind becomes a prison, a place of security and a sense of certainty — that simply cannot look beyond the shores of what we call an “island of certainty in the sea of eternity”. In this state, we unconsciously choose to look the other way, and deny that there is anything more to our existence.

The inverted societies we live within happily confirm this state of ignorance in every way possible, so we conform to a useful social role and a life that makes no sense beyond being a generator of wealth and an unconscious consumer without the thought of WHY? The why behind the why behind the why behind the why behind the why … and that’s where the core values come into the picture. See if we are grounded by our fundamental core values and live by them without selfish monetary gain, then we’d be a lot happier. I have found that the more aligned with who we are at our core gives us more of a satisfaction. A satisfaction that most people are steadily chasing and are left empty and depressed.

It’s not easy to find your purpose in life and most don’t until later in life if at all. However a bit of soul searching and unplugging from the world while you do it, helps tremendously. We are all to distracted by things that shouldn’t matter yet somehow we don’t even know how we got here. Before you go out into the world all willie nillie without a plan or strategy in place you should know, that kind of instability will lead you right back to square one every time. Take some time for yourself, find out what you like doing and what you’re good at doing as well as what makes you feel good about yourself. Doing something more with ourselves fills a void that keeps us from spiraling into darkness and depression.

Having more isn’t necessarily being more…..


The 6 Dynamics of Life

We are going to explore the 6 dynamics of life: personal, social, environmental, situational, universal, and finally spiritual. The impact they have on our daily lives and the impact each one has on how we grow and evolve over the years. It will help us in expanding our world veiw as well as get in touch with our inner selves

PERSONAL DYNAMICS

We speak more than 15,000 to 16,000 words a day. 15-16k…a lot! Words have enormous power. We can create or destroy with these words. It’s just a matter of our choice; create or destroy? While time is an opinion, it can be of the essence in this case as our lives are at stake and at some point we will have to stand up and make a decision. Stop putting off the inevitable. We create our own reality through our thought and language patterns. So how can we create the reality we want? How can we make our minds more agile and unleash our limitless creativity? The first step is to understand why we think the way we do in the first place. These thoughts come from somewhere, they come from the unconscious conditioning we have received throughout our lives through which we create for ourselves the perspective reality of this limited life.

To remove these limitations, we need to understand our language patterns. Let’s make our own rules. Everything we do and say is programmed, and the more we act, the more we plan our minds to see the big picture of infinite possibilities instead of blinding us to our full and infinite Hypotheses for exploiting potential. We all have this infinity inside of us, it’s just that it’s adjusted by us to fit the constraints and needs of society to make us happy like this.

But that’s just a small part of life. For us. When we put the heart in the right place with the right intentions, we start to say that there is no such thing as a box – hell with boxes. By opening this box, our minds become free – free to allow our minds to be more creative and agile.

In unpacking (layers peeling off), we begin to unpack all the thoughts in our minds and begin to question them. Why do I have this idea? what does that mean?

Search allows us to shift our personal drive from negative to positive. To better understand the gifts the universe has to give.

If we wake up in the morning and say to ourselves, “What can I learn today?” Not just for knowledge, but for experience to change ourselves from who we are, to who we are meant to be – someone, who is every fiber of his existence is absolutely infinite.

SOCIAL DYNAMICS

We have an adoptive perspective reality which means everything is not as it appears to be. Life, ones growth is about being able to become more objective so one doesn’t continue to allow the subjectiveness of what is happening around him or her to tint the lease of perception. It’s in that spark of clarity where one begins to realize that there is way more to life that what her or she made it out to be more. Way to more to us than what we have been believing there is to be. It’s in those moments where one gets the strength and courage to start asking questions. How does one know what questions to ask? Maybe just as long as one starts to actually ask questions because those questions will lead to other questions which will lead to other questions and so on and so on. Just ask a question. That’s all it takes is one question to get the ball rolling on a journey that is the most beautiful mind, body, and soul experience one could ever experience.

We must learn though to become neutral on this journey. After all, if one is going to start asking questions, one also has to be prepared that he or she is going to be presented to perspectives that are going to be way different than what they have been carrying around for so many years. It’s asking oneself; “is it fair to ask someone to be open to my view point when I cannot be open to theirs”? When someone is challenged and one hears something that is a trigger point, one runs the risk of becoming stagnant. Now, there are many many reasons why this could bet, but the biggest one of these are fear and doubt. One may feel doubt of where their path is leading them and they stop asking questions. One may feel fear because they are afraid of not being accepted.

The key is to keep pushing forward no matter what curveballs may be thrown in our way. Are we going to duck and avoid getting hit by those curveballs or are we going to find our footing and just take a swing and see what happens? The only way we strike out in life is by dropping the bat, walking away and giving up. Just ask yourself this one question; You made it this far, don’t you think you’re still worth fighting for and never giving up on yourself?

ENVIRONMENTAL DYNAMICS

The environment we place ourselves in influences our way of thinking a great deal. And knowing what I do know, the more toxic that environment is, the less and less we are going to be able to recognize our true potential and the more the core of who we are is going to be suppressed. The flow of our creativity gets turned off therefore we’re not able to think as clearly, faster, or more strategically. How does that solve anything? It doesn’t.

It’s also about surrounding ourselves with more like minded and uplifting individuals. From my own personal experience, this has allowed me to express myself in ways that I’ve never dreamed of, that I haven’t been able to before. Which has expanded on my confidence and now I don’t hold back when I have an idea to share or question to be asked. There’s such freedom and clarity in that and that allows us to become more strategic, more creative, and a more expansive worldview than what is right in front of our very eyes.

There are many environments that one can not only take themselves out of, but place themselves into that will allow them to grow leaps and bounds beyond their current perspective reality. It’s just a matter of reaching that breaking point and saying to him or herself that if they truly want to make a difference in their lives and therefore in the world, a change must be made. And that change must first start from within by not denying oneself the opportunity by wanting to learn and explore the world around us.

Imagine then what we can achieve as a collective when we call all come together? And we start by coming together to ask questions about why things are they way they are which will allow us to come up solutions on how we can resolves the issues that are plaguing society today. The social issues we could solve is quite extensive: world hunger, poverty, homelessness, civil rights, health care – you get the picture.

I can’t think of a more beautiful, more inspirational thing than to come together as one heart, one mind in co-creating a better world.

SITUATIONAL DYNAMICS

Our situation is always changing. Always ebbing and flowing within our current environment. However due to the environments that we have been exposed to, a majority of people have become so resistant to change that it may be hard for them to see that the situation is ever changing. Or even for that matter that even our environment is even changing because of the situations we find ourselves in.

Change is an inevitable part of life. We can fight it kicking and screaming all we want. But maybe a question to ask is why do some find it so difficult to accept change? Is it because they may find it hard to accept themselves? If they cannot accept themselves, then how are they able to accept the changes going on around them? If they are denying themselves who they really are, then of course they are going to deny anything to do with change.

When we accept that everything does and will eventually change, it is because then it becomes easier to adapt to the new situation that is being presented to us and therefore we become more agile in our thinking since changes are all about being able to pivot and adjust, even at a moment’s notice.

The more we work with the mind, it’s actually there to help us, the more and more powerful it becomes. The more we fight against the power of our minds, the more and more in the left side thinking of our brain we go into.

We don’t have to use one side of the brain more than the other. Why not let both sides come together to create this beautiful synchronicity of consciousness.

UNIVERSAL DYNAMICS

Taking the mind out of where we are and placing it where it can be, in the infinite loop of possibilities and perspectives that make up the dynamics of life. No one possibility or perspective is greater than the other, there is no right or wrong. Just an acceptance that in asking better quality questions and expanding our world view beyond what is playing on the TV that evening, we really can be more.

There is an entire universe out there to be explored, and not just in the cosmos, but as part of a collective consciousness. In exploring the dynamics that make us who we are and why we are the way we are. Exploring others for who and why they are the way they are. It’s not about accepting one particular viewpoint as truth, as the end all be all, as that will absolutely keep us limited in our world view. Life is all about the acceptance and understanding that there are way more vantage points and layers to explore billions upon billions about how and why life is the way it is. We could have a discussion for an entire week and barely even begin to scratch the service, we’re just that expansive. Yes, I include us in that because we are part of a life force after all.

When I was sitting on the music pier last night watching the waves after some rain moved through, I could see a storm off in the distance out over the ocean. It was dark and to see the sky light up that way was really one of the coolest things I have ever seen. Besides the most amazing sunset I saw the night of the fireworks. It’s about being in the present moment and shutting out all the noise. It’s about looking up every so often because you never know what you will see over the horizon, what amazing colors you are going to see that will just leave you speechless and take your breath away.

SPIRITUAL DYNAMICS

Why do we think the way we do and where do these thoughts come from?

A couple of deep questions for someone who may be just starting out in expanding their mind and moving from the shell identity to our core identity. But then again, who is our core identity exactly? To put it simply; our core identity, the heart and soul of who we are, is someone who is a beautiful soul who is ever growing and evolving into a person who has let go of the limitations so they can finally feel that limitless love and acceptance for themselves.

Given the dynamics that we are in, it does take a lot of courage to break free from that box of conditioning. Why is that? Is it because we are afraid of change? Afraid of that we will no longer be accepted by friends and family?  Then again maybe we should be asking ourselves why it’s so freaking important to us to be accepted by others to begin with? Why should we want to be accepted by those who have confined us to, up until now, a lifetime of limitations and conditioning so we’re basically not able to think for ourselves?

It’s having that love and respect for ourselves to break free from that box, because when we start letting go of all that toxic stress and start to flip the narrative on our thoughts, it allows us to clear the mind to the point where we can actually hear ourselves think therefore paving the way for us to being able to ask those questions that have been bubbling at the surface. The more questions we ask, the more answers we get therefore the more we are going to discover about how our minds work, who we want to be, and about life. We are the ones who hold the key to unlock that power source of infinite adventure and passion for wanting to learn and explore not only who we are, but who we are meant to be and what life, at its core is all about which is love. For everything begins with love.

For when we connect with something so deeply, there is no doubt that we are on the right patch. It lights us up like a Christmas tree inside. We feel all giddy like a kid in a candy store on our birthday. It’s as if our hearts literally begin to sing and our soul takes that big sigh of relief and we envision ourselves running through a field of sunflowers chasing after butterflies.

Written By: Carla