3 Reasons We Are Egotistically Driven

Why do we let our ego get our asses in hot water?!?! So you can hear the joke at the end 😉

Have you ever wondered why they say “hot water” instead of “cold water? I have and it’s just the same if you were to get your ass in cold water. Being egotistically driven isn’t always a good thing, but why are we then? I’d have to say it’s because of the suppression we’ve all been conditioned to. Of course we could argue that this world isn’t perfect but it’s the one that we have so we might as well make the best of it right? Isn’t it this form of thinking that has supported the non activity and suppression of the human spirit for so long? The more uncertain we become the more unconscious we become and what I mean by unconscious is not really thinking about the things that are more important. Being so focused on the things “we think” we need, and forgetting about the things we actually need.

  1. Why do we let our ego get our asses in hot water?!?! So you can hear the joke at the end 😉
  2. Why we are Egotistically driven
    1. How to become less egotistically driven

Lots of times we question our reality because it’s not the one that we created and we know that it doesn’t benefit us in the best way possible. Most of the time our pride gets in the way as well as our ego and we think we have to be right just so we can win an argument. However if you took a step back and instead of trying to win the argument try and learn something how much more different do you think that conversation would go instead of getting in an altercation, or a back and forth battle that goes nowhere. Instead, you could actually learn something you could put that knowledge to use one day. Only If you apply that knowledge will it become useful.

They’ve always said knowledge is power, however it’s really not,, it’s the effort put into the knowledge that makes it worthy of the power. I mean if you learn how to change a flat tire but never change a tire or teach someone else how to change a tire isn’t that really useless knowledge? So knowing that learning the only way to progress and grow it’s kinda silly to think we let our ego get the best of us and keep us from growing huh?

Egotistically driven

Why we are Egotistically driven

So my question to you is why do you let your ego get in the way? Why are we egotistically driven? Now this cannot be known for fact but as humans we’ve always been egotistically driven for quite some time if not always. It was just less noticeable 100 years ago because we were still too busy surviving and hadn’t got to a point yet when we were more socially involved. It matters more what someone thinks of you as opposed to if you can actually go and kill your own food for dinner tonight.

This causes for an even bigger ego as well. Although it is a choice to be egotistically driven or more spiritually guided, most feel like they can’t help it or it’s almost like instinctive to be egotistically driven. That’s because no we are always in a defensive mode with the world being in an uproar all the time and negativity always lurking. If we connect open-minded people with traditional communities, we will generate empowerment in both! In communities, through income generation, cultural and environmental appreciation and increased self-esteem. And in the visitors, an enrichment of how they perceive the world from embarking on our experiences.

How to become less egotistically driven

Life, reconnection, breathing and time – this is what we bring to the world. Everything that our busy day-to-day lives keeps us away from in a consumerist world that keeps spinning faster and faster.

We should brings a new meaning to travel: opportunities for positive impact in the receiving communities, personal transformation and reconnection with human values that are so important such as simplicity, togetherness and love.

Now you may not think of yourself as an enemy to yourself but you are more often than not you are actually against yourself all of the things that you can’t accomplish that barrier you can’t get past it’s caused from your own doing. Most of the time it’s subconsciously that we end up holding ourselves back without fully being aware that we’re doing so. Just try something new today ok and try to not have to be right. Accept something someone tells you with curiosity and awe.

Try letting your guard down and showing some well needed love to your friends or family. Above all live today as if it were your last….. Because you never really know do you?

Reprogramming the Subconscious Mind

We are all conditioned to be a certain way, rather it’s done purposely or not isn’t the question today. The question today is can we change our conditioning and if so how? This answer does not come easy but yes we can. I have spent thousands to experience my own perspective of this subject and as it turns out yes we can change anything we want. It all begins with the subconscious mind though. See that is where we are conditioned and everything we do is habitual behavior that comes from a pre-programming. Our subconscious is something like a super computer that holds all the data we need to function. We process data every minute of everyday and most of it is through the subconscious mind.

How much we actually focus and concentrate on something in this day and age is very small amount. There is so much going on around us all the time. Most jobs don’t require critical thinking skills in order to do the job, so a lot of the time, it’s just habitual behavior that’s created. Then going with the motions are easier and we do so without thinking about it. The way we think and feel have everything to do with our subconscious, and it is programmed from a very young age. Ages 1-6 to be exact. The repetitive abc song and all the things we learn as a child are forever in our minds as knowledge we will use for the rest of our lives, rather we like it or not. Well not really, you see because our minds tend to forget the knowledge we don’t typically use or need to survive.

Mind the bend
Road to nowhere! Turn around.

Steps to reprogramming the subconscious

  • Creating mind space
  • Expanding your awareness
  • Accepting and aligning yourself
  • Repetitive and habitual thoughts and behaviors

Creating mind space

Our subconscious is constantly at work even when we’re sleeping. The first thing you have to do when trying to create better habits and reprogram your entire perspective is clear some new space. Going back to the subconscious being like a computer, you can’t really install new hardware until getting rid of the old. Sure you can just rewrite the data or in this case just try and learn a new way of thinking, but when you do that with the old data, it’s still there to be used and will only get in the way. So anything that you may be holding onto like, guilt, shame, fear, resentment, and any other old habits or expressions you use that you know hold you back have to go. You have to accept that things can and will change if that’s what you really want. Understand that you can’t get where you going with the way of thinking that got you to where you are.

Expanding your awareness

To become consciously aware of your thoughts and language patterns are an essential part of the process. We can’t change something if we are unaware of it. The way you talk to yourself is the way your subconscious is programmed to think. If you’ve only ever gotten negative results chances are this is a negative programming. When you say things like “It’s just how I have always been” that’s your acceptance of something you don’t think you have the power of changing. When you have a backup plan in case you’re original plan doesn’t work out, you’re dooming yourself to fail. When you say things out loud (true or not) your subconscious is recording and it doesn’t know the difference in real or not, true or not. It only knows it’s repetitive and habitual thoughts.

Accepting and aligning yourself

In order to reprogram your subconscious and your current way of thinking you have to be very certain you don’t want to continue on the same path you’re on now. Most of the time it just takes aligning our values with our everyday lives and living up the our true potential. You should accept all of who you are and make sure you are doing what you want because it’s what you want and not what someone else wants for you. Make sure you are certain of what you want and why you want it and that it aligns with you’ve belief system. You can change your belief system by simply finding a better belief and you can do this by being open to more than one belief being the best one.

Repetitive and habitual thoughts and behaviors

Creating better thoughts by replacing the ones that are negative and have a negative impact are a vital step in the process. Our subconscious is most accepting while it’s in the delta state. See we have different frequencies or speeds, our brain capacity functions. Delta being the lowest frequency is the state right as we’re falling asleep and the few minutes as we’re waking up. This is the most effective time to reprogram the subconscious mind. What I suggest doing is finding an audible to listen to when you go to sleep that is positive and to your liking. Now they say a habit is formed in 21 days but lets round that up to 30 simply because a little more is better than a little less right. So for 30 days give yourself a different routine to follow including all the things we’ve discussed here today. Make sure to actually stick to them EVERYDAY for 30 days then come comment and let me know how well this article worked for you.

Generational Trauma: A New Perspective

What is generational trauma?

When we have internal emotional pain we find ways to cope with that pain that can hurt ourselves as well as others. Everytime, I hurt people I was just reacting to my own internal pain. I was struggling with my own self worth. I was defending myself because I felt it was necessary, only because of the way I’d been conditioned to think about certain situations.

So many of us live in cycles of projecting our generational trauma onto other people. It never goes well when we do that! No one wins especially not you. The people in your path are also punished or hurt, although that is never the intention, and most of the time we don’t even understand those subconscious feelings that have went un-resolved all those years.

What are symptoms of generational trauma?
👉Low self esteem
👉Self destructive behaviors

👉Everyday is a battle against yourself…
👉Am I good enough?
👉Can I really do this ?
👉You have thoughts like “what was i thinking”?

Who is most affected by generational trauma?

Anyone can be affected by generational trauma, most don’t even realize they are affected until we dig a little deeper. Being systematically exploited, enduring repeated and continual abuse mentally, emotionally or physically, racism, and poverty are all traumatic enough to cause genetic changes.

Knowing what aligns with who you are and what you know to be is key to being able to see your own truth. If you know that you are amazing and can achieve your goals then understand your own awareness of what others may project onto you. Being conscious of your thoughts and why you believe something to be true is essential.

Generational trauma is a traumatic event that began prior to the current individuals generation and has impacted the way someone understands, copes with and lives their life.

It’s up to you to change Generational narratives;
when they tell you “this runs in the family”, you tell them; “This is where it runs out.” When they say we’ve always been this way, you say “well not anymore, it’s time for a change”.

Do your thoughts really belong to you, or are they other people’s thoughts? We as a society have been in a certain environment our whole lives and what we hear actually becomes what we begin to believe ourselves. So it’s definitely important to understand which thoughts are yours and which ones came from other people doubting you!

As you’ve noticed we live in such a negative environment with chaos and fear all around us. Do you think what you believe is only because of what is socially acceptable by others.

Or is it something you believe and why? We need to uncover our own truth so your not fighting yourself all the time as to what the right thing is . Becoming aware of your values and beliefs are vital in aligning your thoughts with your core.

You have a chance to break the cycle of passing sadness and that traumatized childhood onto your child. Don’t we all deserve better from each other? Children really are put under so much more pressure these days just because of how much our parents messed us up and unknowingly we are doing the same thing to our kids.

How we deal with things make all the difference.

I noticed the other day that I was just a little irritated at my 3 year old, (Sometimes moms’ just need a break) and I caught myself snapping at her. She was only repeating a question cause I hadn’t answered her but it annoyed me.

Before I knew it I was on my knees hugging her because I scared her when I raised my voice and she began to cry. I also realized, I do that more than I’d like to admit. Right then and there I made a promise to myself to fight the irritability, take a moment when needed and become more patient and explain things in a more clearer way so she wouldn’t ever have to feel that rejected hurt and tone in my voice. See small changes like this can make a world of difference for generations to come.

Do you feel like you are alone in the world? That nobody is really there for you? Maybe you are really independent and you pride yourself on that, but deep down, you are afraid of depending on anyone because it might make you look or feel weak?

Do you sometimes wonder why you’re not happier? Do you look around you, and see other people who seem to have some secret ingredient in life that you lack? Do you sometimes feel empty, alone, or unfulfilled deep down? Like you have this barrier between you and everyone else and you are always on the outside looking in?

I study social psychology and I have found this pattern of struggles in people. It’s a pattern that no one talks about.

In fact, it’s so invisible that there’s no universal term to name it or describe it. So i call it what it is Childhood emotional disconnect or (CED) and I want to help you become aware of what it actually is. Even the best and most loving parents can fail their children in this way.

Many are simply raising their children the way they were raised themselves, unaware that they are failing to provide a crucial ingredient to their growing child. This is part of what makes CED so invisible. But the message that you get as a child is: Your Feelings Don’t Matter.

And since our emotions are the most deeply personal and biological part of who we are, we hear this message as,

You don’t matter.”

So, you adapt to keep your parents happy, and you push your feelings down and away, so that they won’t bother anyone. That strategy works well for you as a child, but as an adult, you start to notice that you feel numb or empty.

You have a hard time relating to other people and expressing yourself. You may have difficulty knowing what you want or what you need or what you feel. You may even feel ashamed for having feelings and needs, and get angry at your own mistakes, or for simply being human.

Another way that parents can unwittingly emotionally neglect their child is to fail to give him the structure and rules to live by, like consequences and discipline. As a result, the emotionally neglected often struggle with self-discipline as adults.

Whatever the level of parental failure, the emotionally neglected have no childhood memories to explain their difficulties. So, too often, they blame themselves. To this day, Emotional Neglect has been overlooked. Because it’s invisible, unmemorable, and the absence of something (emotional validation).

It has been greatly overshadowed by more visible, but also worthy topics, like childhood events, abuse, or trauma.

My goal is to shine a light on this powerful but invisible force. To give people a common language to talk about it, and to offer an explanation to the scores of people who are suffering in silence, wondering what is wrong with them. Understanding the issue can better help you to deal with it in a more healthy way. Addressing these issues emotionally lets you put the pieces together that make you whole.


Nothing stays the same…. If there’s one guaranteed in life that’s everything changes.

So how do we deal with change? Well how do you deal with change? Are you the type of person where you’re comfortable when nothing really changes? I used to love change now it scares the shit out of me. I mean I understand that change is just a part of life but I always take things to the extreme. Like if I feel something needs to change my entire life is uprooted and moved or shifted. No kidding either new house, new car, hell new husband. However, only you can really know what and when you need a change in your life. It doesn’t have to be so dramatic, taking small steps sometimes equals big results.

Things you can do to make small changes to get out of your comfort zone:

  • Drive a different route to and from work
  • Start a new project
  • Find a hobby
  • Do something you’d only do alone
  • Prank call your neighbors
  • Go on a trip
  • Have game night
  • Start a new tradition
  • Write a book
  • Go to the beach
  • Make it a point to meet a new person
  • Dye your hair
  • Learn a new skill
  • Teach a course or class

Once you’ve made yourself uncomfortable enough living on the edge becomes normal and you have to move up a level. Then what used to seem like a big deal becomes small and boring. It’s like exercising or learning, if you quit for a few days or a week you loose muscle mass and forget what you’ve learned. Change is inevitably something that is going to happen so if you are used to change then you won’t have anxiety so bad when things do change unexpectantly. Most things that change we think we have no control over but that’s simply not true. We are the only ones that can control our lives rather it be making a choice or simply not doing anything at all. Not doing anything at all is also making a choice, a choice to do nothing.


The 6 Dynamics of Life

We are going to explore the 6 dynamics of life: personal, social, environmental, situational, universal, and finally spiritual. The impact they have on our daily lives and the impact each one has on how we grow and evolve over the years. It will help us in expanding our world veiw as well as get in touch with our inner selves


We speak more than 15,000 to 16,000 words a day. 15-16k…a lot! Words have enormous power. We can create or destroy with these words. It’s just a matter of our choice; create or destroy? While time is an opinion, it can be of the essence in this case as our lives are at stake and at some point we will have to stand up and make a decision. Stop putting off the inevitable. We create our own reality through our thought and language patterns. So how can we create the reality we want? How can we make our minds more agile and unleash our limitless creativity? The first step is to understand why we think the way we do in the first place. These thoughts come from somewhere, they come from the unconscious conditioning we have received throughout our lives through which we create for ourselves the perspective reality of this limited life.

To remove these limitations, we need to understand our language patterns. Let’s make our own rules. Everything we do and say is programmed, and the more we act, the more we plan our minds to see the big picture of infinite possibilities instead of blinding us to our full and infinite Hypotheses for exploiting potential. We all have this infinity inside of us, it’s just that it’s adjusted by us to fit the constraints and needs of society to make us happy like this.

But that’s just a small part of life. For us. When we put the heart in the right place with the right intentions, we start to say that there is no such thing as a box – hell with boxes. By opening this box, our minds become free – free to allow our minds to be more creative and agile.

In unpacking (layers peeling off), we begin to unpack all the thoughts in our minds and begin to question them. Why do I have this idea? what does that mean?

Search allows us to shift our personal drive from negative to positive. To better understand the gifts the universe has to give.

If we wake up in the morning and say to ourselves, “What can I learn today?” Not just for knowledge, but for experience to change ourselves from who we are, to who we are meant to be – someone, who is every fiber of his existence is absolutely infinite.


We have an adoptive perspective reality which means everything is not as it appears to be. Life, ones growth is about being able to become more objective so one doesn’t continue to allow the subjectiveness of what is happening around him or her to tint the lease of perception. It’s in that spark of clarity where one begins to realize that there is way more to life that what her or she made it out to be more. Way to more to us than what we have been believing there is to be. It’s in those moments where one gets the strength and courage to start asking questions. How does one know what questions to ask? Maybe just as long as one starts to actually ask questions because those questions will lead to other questions which will lead to other questions and so on and so on. Just ask a question. That’s all it takes is one question to get the ball rolling on a journey that is the most beautiful mind, body, and soul experience one could ever experience.

We must learn though to become neutral on this journey. After all, if one is going to start asking questions, one also has to be prepared that he or she is going to be presented to perspectives that are going to be way different than what they have been carrying around for so many years. It’s asking oneself; “is it fair to ask someone to be open to my view point when I cannot be open to theirs”? When someone is challenged and one hears something that is a trigger point, one runs the risk of becoming stagnant. Now, there are many many reasons why this could bet, but the biggest one of these are fear and doubt. One may feel doubt of where their path is leading them and they stop asking questions. One may feel fear because they are afraid of not being accepted.

The key is to keep pushing forward no matter what curveballs may be thrown in our way. Are we going to duck and avoid getting hit by those curveballs or are we going to find our footing and just take a swing and see what happens? The only way we strike out in life is by dropping the bat, walking away and giving up. Just ask yourself this one question; You made it this far, don’t you think you’re still worth fighting for and never giving up on yourself?


The environment we place ourselves in influences our way of thinking a great deal. And knowing what I do know, the more toxic that environment is, the less and less we are going to be able to recognize our true potential and the more the core of who we are is going to be suppressed. The flow of our creativity gets turned off therefore we’re not able to think as clearly, faster, or more strategically. How does that solve anything? It doesn’t.

It’s also about surrounding ourselves with more like minded and uplifting individuals. From my own personal experience, this has allowed me to express myself in ways that I’ve never dreamed of, that I haven’t been able to before. Which has expanded on my confidence and now I don’t hold back when I have an idea to share or question to be asked. There’s such freedom and clarity in that and that allows us to become more strategic, more creative, and a more expansive worldview than what is right in front of our very eyes.

There are many environments that one can not only take themselves out of, but place themselves into that will allow them to grow leaps and bounds beyond their current perspective reality. It’s just a matter of reaching that breaking point and saying to him or herself that if they truly want to make a difference in their lives and therefore in the world, a change must be made. And that change must first start from within by not denying oneself the opportunity by wanting to learn and explore the world around us.

Imagine then what we can achieve as a collective when we call all come together? And we start by coming together to ask questions about why things are they way they are which will allow us to come up solutions on how we can resolves the issues that are plaguing society today. The social issues we could solve is quite extensive: world hunger, poverty, homelessness, civil rights, health care – you get the picture.

I can’t think of a more beautiful, more inspirational thing than to come together as one heart, one mind in co-creating a better world.


Our situation is always changing. Always ebbing and flowing within our current environment. However due to the environments that we have been exposed to, a majority of people have become so resistant to change that it may be hard for them to see that the situation is ever changing. Or even for that matter that even our environment is even changing because of the situations we find ourselves in.

Change is an inevitable part of life. We can fight it kicking and screaming all we want. But maybe a question to ask is why do some find it so difficult to accept change? Is it because they may find it hard to accept themselves? If they cannot accept themselves, then how are they able to accept the changes going on around them? If they are denying themselves who they really are, then of course they are going to deny anything to do with change.

When we accept that everything does and will eventually change, it is because then it becomes easier to adapt to the new situation that is being presented to us and therefore we become more agile in our thinking since changes are all about being able to pivot and adjust, even at a moment’s notice.

The more we work with the mind, it’s actually there to help us, the more and more powerful it becomes. The more we fight against the power of our minds, the more and more in the left side thinking of our brain we go into.

We don’t have to use one side of the brain more than the other. Why not let both sides come together to create this beautiful synchronicity of consciousness.


Taking the mind out of where we are and placing it where it can be, in the infinite loop of possibilities and perspectives that make up the dynamics of life. No one possibility or perspective is greater than the other, there is no right or wrong. Just an acceptance that in asking better quality questions and expanding our world view beyond what is playing on the TV that evening, we really can be more.

There is an entire universe out there to be explored, and not just in the cosmos, but as part of a collective consciousness. In exploring the dynamics that make us who we are and why we are the way we are. Exploring others for who and why they are the way they are. It’s not about accepting one particular viewpoint as truth, as the end all be all, as that will absolutely keep us limited in our world view. Life is all about the acceptance and understanding that there are way more vantage points and layers to explore billions upon billions about how and why life is the way it is. We could have a discussion for an entire week and barely even begin to scratch the service, we’re just that expansive. Yes, I include us in that because we are part of a life force after all.

When I was sitting on the music pier last night watching the waves after some rain moved through, I could see a storm off in the distance out over the ocean. It was dark and to see the sky light up that way was really one of the coolest things I have ever seen. Besides the most amazing sunset I saw the night of the fireworks. It’s about being in the present moment and shutting out all the noise. It’s about looking up every so often because you never know what you will see over the horizon, what amazing colors you are going to see that will just leave you speechless and take your breath away.


Why do we think the way we do and where do these thoughts come from?

A couple of deep questions for someone who may be just starting out in expanding their mind and moving from the shell identity to our core identity. But then again, who is our core identity exactly? To put it simply; our core identity, the heart and soul of who we are, is someone who is a beautiful soul who is ever growing and evolving into a person who has let go of the limitations so they can finally feel that limitless love and acceptance for themselves.

Given the dynamics that we are in, it does take a lot of courage to break free from that box of conditioning. Why is that? Is it because we are afraid of change? Afraid of that we will no longer be accepted by friends and family?  Then again maybe we should be asking ourselves why it’s so freaking important to us to be accepted by others to begin with? Why should we want to be accepted by those who have confined us to, up until now, a lifetime of limitations and conditioning so we’re basically not able to think for ourselves?

It’s having that love and respect for ourselves to break free from that box, because when we start letting go of all that toxic stress and start to flip the narrative on our thoughts, it allows us to clear the mind to the point where we can actually hear ourselves think therefore paving the way for us to being able to ask those questions that have been bubbling at the surface. The more questions we ask, the more answers we get therefore the more we are going to discover about how our minds work, who we want to be, and about life. We are the ones who hold the key to unlock that power source of infinite adventure and passion for wanting to learn and explore not only who we are, but who we are meant to be and what life, at its core is all about which is love. For everything begins with love.

For when we connect with something so deeply, there is no doubt that we are on the right patch. It lights us up like a Christmas tree inside. We feel all giddy like a kid in a candy store on our birthday. It’s as if our hearts literally begin to sing and our soul takes that big sigh of relief and we envision ourselves running through a field of sunflowers chasing after butterflies.

Written By: Carla