What is generational trauma?
When we have internal emotional pain we find ways to cope with that pain that can hurt ourselves as well as others. Everytime, I hurt people I was just reacting to my own internal pain. I was struggling with my own self worth. I was defending myself because I felt it was necessary, only because of the way I’d been conditioned to think about certain situations.
So many of us live in cycles of projecting our generational trauma onto other people. It never goes well when we do that! No one wins especially not you. The people in your path are also punished or hurt, although that is never the intention, and most of the time we don’t even understand those subconscious feelings that have went un-resolved all those years.
What are symptoms of generational trauma?
👉Low self esteem
👉Self destructive behaviors
👉Everyday is a battle against yourself…
👉Am I good enough?
👉Can I really do this ?
👉You have thoughts like “what was i thinking”?
Who is most affected by generational trauma?
Anyone can be affected by generational trauma, most don’t even realize they are affected until we dig a little deeper. Being systematically exploited, enduring repeated and continual abuse mentally, emotionally or physically, racism, and poverty are all traumatic enough to cause genetic changes.
Knowing what aligns with who you are and what you know to be is key to being able to see your own truth. If you know that you are amazing and can achieve your goals then understand your own awareness of what others may project onto you. Being conscious of your thoughts and why you believe something to be true is essential.
Generational trauma is a traumatic event that began prior to the current individuals generation and has impacted the way someone understands, copes with and lives their life.
It’s up to you to change Generational narratives;
when they tell you “this runs in the family”, you tell them; “This is where it runs out.” When they say we’ve always been this way, you say “well not anymore, it’s time for a change”.
Do your thoughts really belong to you, or are they other people’s thoughts? We as a society have been in a certain environment our whole lives and what we hear actually becomes what we begin to believe ourselves. So it’s definitely important to understand which thoughts are yours and which ones came from other people doubting you!
As you’ve noticed we live in such a negative environment with chaos and fear all around us. Do you think what you believe is only because of what is socially acceptable by others.
Or is it something you believe and why? We need to uncover our own truth so your not fighting yourself all the time as to what the right thing is . Becoming aware of your values and beliefs are vital in aligning your thoughts with your core.
You have a chance to break the cycle of passing sadness and that traumatized childhood onto your child. Don’t we all deserve better from each other? Children really are put under so much more pressure these days just because of how much our parents messed us up and unknowingly we are doing the same thing to our kids.
How we deal with things make all the difference.
I noticed the other day that I was just a little irritated at my 3 year old, (Sometimes moms’ just need a break) and I caught myself snapping at her. She was only repeating a question cause I hadn’t answered her but it annoyed me.
Before I knew it I was on my knees hugging her because I scared her when I raised my voice and she began to cry. I also realized, I do that more than I’d like to admit. Right then and there I made a promise to myself to fight the irritability, take a moment when needed and become more patient and explain things in a more clearer way so she wouldn’t ever have to feel that rejected hurt and tone in my voice. See small changes like this can make a world of difference for generations to come.
Do you feel like you are alone in the world? That nobody is really there for you? Maybe you are really independent and you pride yourself on that, but deep down, you are afraid of depending on anyone because it might make you look or feel weak?
Do you sometimes wonder why you’re not happier? Do you look around you, and see other people who seem to have some secret ingredient in life that you lack? Do you sometimes feel empty, alone, or unfulfilled deep down? Like you have this barrier between you and everyone else and you are always on the outside looking in?
I study social psychology and I have found this pattern of struggles in people. It’s a pattern that no one talks about.
In fact, it’s so invisible that there’s no universal term to name it or describe it. So i call it what it is Childhood emotional disconnect or (CED) and I want to help you become aware of what it actually is. Even the best and most loving parents can fail their children in this way.
Many are simply raising their children the way they were raised themselves, unaware that they are failing to provide a crucial ingredient to their growing child. This is part of what makes CED so invisible. But the message that you get as a child is: Your Feelings Don’t Matter.
And since our emotions are the most deeply personal and biological part of who we are, we hear this message as,
So, you adapt to keep your parents happy, and you push your feelings down and away, so that they won’t bother anyone. That strategy works well for you as a child, but as an adult, you start to notice that you feel numb or empty.
You have a hard time relating to other people and expressing yourself. You may have difficulty knowing what you want or what you need or what you feel. You may even feel ashamed for having feelings and needs, and get angry at your own mistakes, or for simply being human.
Another way that parents can unwittingly emotionally neglect their child is to fail to give him the structure and rules to live by, like consequences and discipline. As a result, the emotionally neglected often struggle with self-discipline as adults.
Whatever the level of parental failure, the emotionally neglected have no childhood memories to explain their difficulties. So, too often, they blame themselves. To this day, Emotional Neglect has been overlooked. Because it’s invisible, unmemorable, and the absence of something (emotional validation).
It has been greatly overshadowed by more visible, but also worthy topics, like childhood events, abuse, or trauma.
My goal is to shine a light on this powerful but invisible force. To give people a common language to talk about it, and to offer an explanation to the scores of people who are suffering in silence, wondering what is wrong with them. Understanding the issue can better help you to deal with it in a more healthy way. Addressing these issues emotionally lets you put the pieces together that make you whole.