Balancing the Scales

How to handle resentment and unresolved issues!

It’s almost inevitable in any relationship even with yourself, to not have resentment that builds overtime. Most of the time it’s caused from unresolved issues. Either you’re not being heard, not speaking up, or just trying to ignore the issue. Over the course of your life you probably have more unresolved issues than you’d like to admit. (I know I did, hell still brewing a few) 😅 Nevertheless how do we start to solve the issues we aren’t even fully aware of? Problems always come from a much deeper place than just the surface. The only reason they go unresolved and build resentment is not being fully and consciously aware that they exist. So the question remains what can we do to resolve them and not let them cause havoc in our life? The answer is simple although it’s not easy.

ASK MORE QUESTIONS…

Say you’re irritable and taking your frustrations out on your significant other. (Subconsciously) you end up punishing yourself. However, you’re not really focused on finding out why you’re upset, There’s an internal part of you ( your subconscious) that’s always working against you. I’ve learned to listen more to my heart than my mind, but in order to do this, I have to remain very self aware. I’ve taken the time and effort to discover myself at my core and understand the why behind the why…. I’ve figured out all my triggers, all my deepest frustrations, my patterns, my core values and my BS which is what I call my (belief system).

I learned how to become neutral to others and their beliefs, not let them upset me or affect me as much. I did this by asking more and more questions about the thoughts I had and my language patterns. Changed what I did not like with habitual behavior and started to accept all of my flaws and imperfections and love who I am. Truth be told if we’re ok and can accept these flaws then these things are only a problem for others to accept. Just don’t change who you are to please others, because that only leaves you feeling unworthy and insignificant to whoever you rely on for emotional support.

Balancing the scales
Download a list of fundamental values

Resentment is created from our resistance!

When we aren’t even honest with ourselves half the time how are we supposed to be honest with each other? More often than not we tell ourselves little white lies from our subconscious, just so we can feel better about the person we are and the decisions that we make. You’d have be a freaking saint if you’ve never done anything, that later you felt ashamed of, at least once in your life, right? I think we’ve all been there. So going back to that feeling of shame and guilt, allow that feeling to exist within you. If you just sit with yourself and allow yourself to feel the sadness and regret for a few minutes. By doing this unique method our body, mind and spirit realign and balances out the scales within the universe. Otherwise not taking the time to “deal” with that emotion only creates resistance within us at our core and our subconscious.

Fundamental Core Values

We know at our core that what we did we should be ashamed of because of our belief system (which can be changed btw). However, now because we didn’t take that time of pain and discomfort (as our subconscious knows we should be punished for the shame), it now creates our own self destruction path because it is still trying to resist that feeling of shame. It’s now an internal conflict that creates a punishment within ourselves. This is why it’s so very vitally important that we work out these core values of ours and make sure the decisions we make align us with who we are at our core self. Having these core values allows us to really discover who we are fundamentally and why.

Worthy

Being good enough is more or so based on what you feel is your worthiness. We often judge ourselves too harshly and this results in a less confident self image. If you feel like your life has no meaning or you aren’t valued then chances are you don’t have a purpose. When you have a purpose then you feel worthy of the life you were given. Becoming more than you are enables you to become more of the person you were meant to be.

One of the things people ask me quite often is how do I find my purpose? The answer is always this “You find you’re purpose when you become fulfilled.” Becoming fulfilled means accepting all that you are all that you’ve ever been and the fact that you can do more with yourself and your life if that’s really what you want. They’re are very few people that find that fulfilment, that is absolutely blissful , however the ones that do happen to work everyday to keep that mind-space open.

It takes extreme discipline to feel the worthiness that most people crave and yearn for. Most people never really get to live up to their own worthiness because the discipline it takes to get there is just to hard for them to keep trying. So the lesson here is the best things in life are worth it if you think it’s worth it. Sometimes we fake it till we make it, meaning we pretend to be happy until it becomes real. So telling yourself you’re amazing everyday, eventually you start to believe it then it becomes true.

It’s easy to get distracted or pulled off course and out of your comfort zone. That’s where the most accomplished dreams are met, in the sea of uncertainty. Once you experience that freedom you get when you just let go of all the “what if’s” and “I don’t knows” and just enjoy the experience. That’s really where all the joyous times in your life happen, when you’re just simply experiencing life. If you are completely consumed by life instead of directing and producing your own story then you will end up missing out on your life.

Make sure to surround yourself with people that appreciate the value you bring to the table. Also find the things that make you feel good like helping others and being a good person when it counts. Get on the good side of Karma and you will be rewarded. Most importantly make sure you’re giving yourself credit where credit is due, and celebrate your wins. If you do something you should be proud of then make sure you take that moment to pat yourself on the back. You don’t have to judge yourself so hard, nor try for perfection because some thing are just enough.


10 Things you can do to feel more Worthy

  • Help others
  • Be proud of your accomplishments
  • Do more for others in your life
  • Donate your time or money to a good cause
  • Surround yourself with appreciative people
  • Write a book to help someone else
  • Do something worth wild and unexpected
  • Go on a trip
  • Create a community or a following with your knowledge
  • Tell yourself daily that you are worthy

The 6 Dynamics of Life

We are going to explore the 6 dynamics of life: personal, social, environmental, situational, universal, and finally spiritual. The impact they have on our daily lives and the impact each one has on how we grow and evolve over the years. It will help us in expanding our world veiw as well as get in touch with our inner selves

PERSONAL DYNAMICS

We speak more than 15,000 to 16,000 words a day. 15-16k…a lot! Words have enormous power. We can create or destroy with these words. It’s just a matter of our choice; create or destroy? While time is an opinion, it can be of the essence in this case as our lives are at stake and at some point we will have to stand up and make a decision. Stop putting off the inevitable. We create our own reality through our thought and language patterns. So how can we create the reality we want? How can we make our minds more agile and unleash our limitless creativity? The first step is to understand why we think the way we do in the first place. These thoughts come from somewhere, they come from the unconscious conditioning we have received throughout our lives through which we create for ourselves the perspective reality of this limited life.

To remove these limitations, we need to understand our language patterns. Let’s make our own rules. Everything we do and say is programmed, and the more we act, the more we plan our minds to see the big picture of infinite possibilities instead of blinding us to our full and infinite Hypotheses for exploiting potential. We all have this infinity inside of us, it’s just that it’s adjusted by us to fit the constraints and needs of society to make us happy like this.

But that’s just a small part of life. For us. When we put the heart in the right place with the right intentions, we start to say that there is no such thing as a box – hell with boxes. By opening this box, our minds become free – free to allow our minds to be more creative and agile.

In unpacking (layers peeling off), we begin to unpack all the thoughts in our minds and begin to question them. Why do I have this idea? what does that mean?

Search allows us to shift our personal drive from negative to positive. To better understand the gifts the universe has to give.

If we wake up in the morning and say to ourselves, “What can I learn today?” Not just for knowledge, but for experience to change ourselves from who we are, to who we are meant to be – someone, who is every fiber of his existence is absolutely infinite.

SOCIAL DYNAMICS

We have an adoptive perspective reality which means everything is not as it appears to be. Life, ones growth is about being able to become more objective so one doesn’t continue to allow the subjectiveness of what is happening around him or her to tint the lease of perception. It’s in that spark of clarity where one begins to realize that there is way more to life that what her or she made it out to be more. Way to more to us than what we have been believing there is to be. It’s in those moments where one gets the strength and courage to start asking questions. How does one know what questions to ask? Maybe just as long as one starts to actually ask questions because those questions will lead to other questions which will lead to other questions and so on and so on. Just ask a question. That’s all it takes is one question to get the ball rolling on a journey that is the most beautiful mind, body, and soul experience one could ever experience.

We must learn though to become neutral on this journey. After all, if one is going to start asking questions, one also has to be prepared that he or she is going to be presented to perspectives that are going to be way different than what they have been carrying around for so many years. It’s asking oneself; “is it fair to ask someone to be open to my view point when I cannot be open to theirs”? When someone is challenged and one hears something that is a trigger point, one runs the risk of becoming stagnant. Now, there are many many reasons why this could bet, but the biggest one of these are fear and doubt. One may feel doubt of where their path is leading them and they stop asking questions. One may feel fear because they are afraid of not being accepted.

The key is to keep pushing forward no matter what curveballs may be thrown in our way. Are we going to duck and avoid getting hit by those curveballs or are we going to find our footing and just take a swing and see what happens? The only way we strike out in life is by dropping the bat, walking away and giving up. Just ask yourself this one question; You made it this far, don’t you think you’re still worth fighting for and never giving up on yourself?

ENVIRONMENTAL DYNAMICS

The environment we place ourselves in influences our way of thinking a great deal. And knowing what I do know, the more toxic that environment is, the less and less we are going to be able to recognize our true potential and the more the core of who we are is going to be suppressed. The flow of our creativity gets turned off therefore we’re not able to think as clearly, faster, or more strategically. How does that solve anything? It doesn’t.

It’s also about surrounding ourselves with more like minded and uplifting individuals. From my own personal experience, this has allowed me to express myself in ways that I’ve never dreamed of, that I haven’t been able to before. Which has expanded on my confidence and now I don’t hold back when I have an idea to share or question to be asked. There’s such freedom and clarity in that and that allows us to become more strategic, more creative, and a more expansive worldview than what is right in front of our very eyes.

There are many environments that one can not only take themselves out of, but place themselves into that will allow them to grow leaps and bounds beyond their current perspective reality. It’s just a matter of reaching that breaking point and saying to him or herself that if they truly want to make a difference in their lives and therefore in the world, a change must be made. And that change must first start from within by not denying oneself the opportunity by wanting to learn and explore the world around us.

Imagine then what we can achieve as a collective when we call all come together? And we start by coming together to ask questions about why things are they way they are which will allow us to come up solutions on how we can resolves the issues that are plaguing society today. The social issues we could solve is quite extensive: world hunger, poverty, homelessness, civil rights, health care – you get the picture.

I can’t think of a more beautiful, more inspirational thing than to come together as one heart, one mind in co-creating a better world.

SITUATIONAL DYNAMICS

Our situation is always changing. Always ebbing and flowing within our current environment. However due to the environments that we have been exposed to, a majority of people have become so resistant to change that it may be hard for them to see that the situation is ever changing. Or even for that matter that even our environment is even changing because of the situations we find ourselves in.

Change is an inevitable part of life. We can fight it kicking and screaming all we want. But maybe a question to ask is why do some find it so difficult to accept change? Is it because they may find it hard to accept themselves? If they cannot accept themselves, then how are they able to accept the changes going on around them? If they are denying themselves who they really are, then of course they are going to deny anything to do with change.

When we accept that everything does and will eventually change, it is because then it becomes easier to adapt to the new situation that is being presented to us and therefore we become more agile in our thinking since changes are all about being able to pivot and adjust, even at a moment’s notice.

The more we work with the mind, it’s actually there to help us, the more and more powerful it becomes. The more we fight against the power of our minds, the more and more in the left side thinking of our brain we go into.

We don’t have to use one side of the brain more than the other. Why not let both sides come together to create this beautiful synchronicity of consciousness.

UNIVERSAL DYNAMICS

Taking the mind out of where we are and placing it where it can be, in the infinite loop of possibilities and perspectives that make up the dynamics of life. No one possibility or perspective is greater than the other, there is no right or wrong. Just an acceptance that in asking better quality questions and expanding our world view beyond what is playing on the TV that evening, we really can be more.

There is an entire universe out there to be explored, and not just in the cosmos, but as part of a collective consciousness. In exploring the dynamics that make us who we are and why we are the way we are. Exploring others for who and why they are the way they are. It’s not about accepting one particular viewpoint as truth, as the end all be all, as that will absolutely keep us limited in our world view. Life is all about the acceptance and understanding that there are way more vantage points and layers to explore billions upon billions about how and why life is the way it is. We could have a discussion for an entire week and barely even begin to scratch the service, we’re just that expansive. Yes, I include us in that because we are part of a life force after all.

When I was sitting on the music pier last night watching the waves after some rain moved through, I could see a storm off in the distance out over the ocean. It was dark and to see the sky light up that way was really one of the coolest things I have ever seen. Besides the most amazing sunset I saw the night of the fireworks. It’s about being in the present moment and shutting out all the noise. It’s about looking up every so often because you never know what you will see over the horizon, what amazing colors you are going to see that will just leave you speechless and take your breath away.

SPIRITUAL DYNAMICS

Why do we think the way we do and where do these thoughts come from?

A couple of deep questions for someone who may be just starting out in expanding their mind and moving from the shell identity to our core identity. But then again, who is our core identity exactly? To put it simply; our core identity, the heart and soul of who we are, is someone who is a beautiful soul who is ever growing and evolving into a person who has let go of the limitations so they can finally feel that limitless love and acceptance for themselves.

Given the dynamics that we are in, it does take a lot of courage to break free from that box of conditioning. Why is that? Is it because we are afraid of change? Afraid of that we will no longer be accepted by friends and family?  Then again maybe we should be asking ourselves why it’s so freaking important to us to be accepted by others to begin with? Why should we want to be accepted by those who have confined us to, up until now, a lifetime of limitations and conditioning so we’re basically not able to think for ourselves?

It’s having that love and respect for ourselves to break free from that box, because when we start letting go of all that toxic stress and start to flip the narrative on our thoughts, it allows us to clear the mind to the point where we can actually hear ourselves think therefore paving the way for us to being able to ask those questions that have been bubbling at the surface. The more questions we ask, the more answers we get therefore the more we are going to discover about how our minds work, who we want to be, and about life. We are the ones who hold the key to unlock that power source of infinite adventure and passion for wanting to learn and explore not only who we are, but who we are meant to be and what life, at its core is all about which is love. For everything begins with love.

For when we connect with something so deeply, there is no doubt that we are on the right patch. It lights us up like a Christmas tree inside. We feel all giddy like a kid in a candy store on our birthday. It’s as if our hearts literally begin to sing and our soul takes that big sigh of relief and we envision ourselves running through a field of sunflowers chasing after butterflies.

Written By: Carla