How to handle resentment and unresolved issues!
It’s almost inevitable in any relationship even with yourself, to not have resentment that builds overtime. Most of the time it’s caused from unresolved issues. Either you’re not being heard, not speaking up, or just trying to ignore the issue. Over the course of your life you probably have more unresolved issues than you’d like to admit. (I know I did, hell still brewing a few) 😅 Nevertheless how do we start to solve the issues we aren’t even fully aware of? Problems always come from a much deeper place than just the surface. The only reason they go unresolved and build resentment is not being fully and consciously aware that they exist. So the question remains what can we do to resolve them and not let them cause havoc in our life? The answer is simple although it’s not easy.
ASK MORE QUESTIONS…
Say you’re irritable and taking your frustrations out on your significant other. (Subconsciously) you end up punishing yourself. However, you’re not really focused on finding out why you’re upset, There’s an internal part of you ( your subconscious) that’s always working against you. I’ve learned to listen more to my heart than my mind, but in order to do this, I have to remain very self aware. I’ve taken the time and effort to discover myself at my core and understand the why behind the why…. I’ve figured out all my triggers, all my deepest frustrations, my patterns, my core values and my BS which is what I call my (belief system).
I learned how to become neutral to others and their beliefs, not let them upset me or affect me as much. I did this by asking more and more questions about the thoughts I had and my language patterns. Changed what I did not like with habitual behavior and started to accept all of my flaws and imperfections and love who I am. Truth be told if we’re ok and can accept these flaws then these things are only a problem for others to accept. Just don’t change who you are to please others, because that only leaves you feeling unworthy and insignificant to whoever you rely on for emotional support.
Resentment is created from our resistance!
When we aren’t even honest with ourselves half the time how are we supposed to be honest with each other? More often than not we tell ourselves little white lies from our subconscious, just so we can feel better about the person we are and the decisions that we make. You’d have be a freaking saint if you’ve never done anything, that later you felt ashamed of, at least once in your life, right? I think we’ve all been there. So going back to that feeling of shame and guilt, allow that feeling to exist within you. If you just sit with yourself and allow yourself to feel the sadness and regret for a few minutes. By doing this unique method our body, mind and spirit realign and balances out the scales within the universe. Otherwise not taking the time to “deal” with that emotion only creates resistance within us at our core and our subconscious.
Fundamental Core Values
We know at our core that what we did we should be ashamed of because of our belief system (which can be changed btw). However, now because we didn’t take that time of pain and discomfort (as our subconscious knows we should be punished for the shame), it now creates our own self destruction path because it is still trying to resist that feeling of shame. It’s now an internal conflict that creates a punishment within ourselves. This is why it’s so very vitally important that we work out these core values of ours and make sure the decisions we make align us with who we are at our core self. Having these core values allows us to really discover who we are fundamentally and why.